Life is hard, and it's messy.

Yesterday, I could not make it in time to stream and made a post. Many people reached out to ask if everything was ok. I didn't mean the post to sound grave or alarming, and yesterday was not grave or alarming. Yesterday involved good, personal circunstances that unexpectedly kept me away. Yesterday was a good day that ended up interfering with the show.

Today is not a good day. It's hard to know when to do this. It's hard to let people down, to know that every thing you do or say will come across in a particular way.

It's also hard because being a semi-public person means people have some access into your life, and something as mundane as not "coming to work" for a day becomes a balancing act of how much you say and how it will be taken.

I'll say this. Yesterday was good. Canceling the show was not fun, but the reasons were not bad. Today is bad. Canceling the show is literally last minute and I kinda fucking hate it. I wish I could tell you why, but being semi-public means semi, and I can't.

Please know that I genuinely appreciate you all, and your concerns for me and those around me.

Please also know that it may seem silly to be dramatic about this, and in a way it is. I come across as very flippant and care free a lot of times, because I think a lighter approach to as much of life as possible is good. For some, that translates into a perception that everything is a game and nothing is important.

Tonight I will not be on. I wish I could say differently, and I did not expect today to be like this. I wish I could say more about it, but I can't.

See you soon.
Nick